i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
