Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
