Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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