im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
