OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
