are you so shy because you have an std?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
