You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
