dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
