you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
