i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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