you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
