maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
