he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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