I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
