Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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