I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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