she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
