Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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