It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
