yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
