My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
