Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
