Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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