A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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