She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
