i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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