Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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