She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was like getting head from an anaconda
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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