I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
