I think i peed on brittanys purse
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
