I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
