I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
