Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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