And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize