Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
