I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
