They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
