im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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