I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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