haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The ass gains better be worth it
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