dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
