Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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