Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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