normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
