I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize