i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
