So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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