i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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