Just fell off a train. Bad.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
