In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
