I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
