Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
