I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
