well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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