she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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