I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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