I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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