This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
