carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
