There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
