I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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