the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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