ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
