The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
