Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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